I love novels. I love first lines of novels. I also love bookstores. My dream is to be locked in a bookstore overnight. If I were, I would read the first line of every single book in the fiction section. Since I can’t reason through a series of events that would find me incarcerated at Barnes & Noble, I decided to exercise the fantasy (over time) on Amazon.

The rules: I will occasionally choose a novel from the Kindle bestsellers page or a random Indie novel from my Twitter feed. For each one I will record the first line and then provide my first impressions. I reserve the right to choose the first line from either the prologue or the first chapter. I like a little chaos.

Here’s three to get me started:

Rejected Writers Take the Stage, Suzanne Kelman

“Karen, the Southlea Bay library manager, approached the door with her key and stopped short before announcing through a clenched smile, “Doris alert.”

I don’t know if Karen is just a bitch or if Doris is really irritating. I am curious though. I also can’t avoid staring at the chapter title with wild anticipation: “Frozen Yetis & Scotch Tape Shenanigans.” In the history of the written word, never before have those words appeared even roughly in that order. Well Played, Suzanne. Well played.

 Unmasked, EM Kaplan
“The beast grabbed Mel with a gray-skinned hand and dragged her across the rutted dirt road.”

I just wish I had a better sense of the conflict here. Kidding. Seriously, there is a lot packed into these 16 words. I’m obviously worried about Mel. And I am equally intrigued by a world that has beasts with gray skin.

 All the Light We Cannot See, Anthony Doerr
“At dusk they pour from the sky.”

The chapter is titled ‘Leaflets,’ so really, the first sentence is a continuation. I don’t know if ‘pour’ is the best word to describe leaflets falling from the sky, but he won a fucking Pulitzer for this. Who am I to judge?